Music does speak.

Monday, January 25, 2010

What Hurts The Most

Every once I listen to this song,
I feel the sadness from deep inside my heart.
It reminds me how sorry a person could be,
sorry for being too late.

I know this song from a fan-fic of KonoSetsu,
my favourite couple.
Never ever postpone the words from your heart...
It will make you regret forever,
as accidents may always happen before you realize it.

Deep sad can't being describe with words,
same as you couldn't tell how deep a sea may just by looking at it.

For life is life,
for me is one of the one in your life,
and forever I will always be there in your heart.
May the spirits in you and me will remain together even when we are separated someday...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

生存之道

哪天离开这里时,会不舍么?

在T1的日子是过得如此之快,
仿佛转眼间我们又撑过了第二个星期。
每天的日子都是如此的匆忙,
匆匆地过着,赶功课、赶上学、赶换班。
有时吃餐饭都得赶着走,活着就好比在和时间赛跑。

但,
每日的每一堂课,我都学到新事物,
和班上的人也越来越熟,
甚至大家会开始想象未来一起去玩乐。

透过育华帮,
我还认识了其他班的人,
也从网上结交了个同校之友,
不停的开阔着自己的友情线。

我的十八岁未至,
先学会了自己独立生活的滋味。

在外靠朋友。
这句话,应该是对的吧!
生活上的事的确不需要他们动手帮忙,
毕竟我扛得过来。
只是我会很乐意在吃饭时能听到大家的欢笑声。
至少这样,
我知道自己不是一个人的。
这就够了。

数学上遇到不会的问题时,
我也能请教May或云,
这感觉仿佛回到我小学时,
爱挑战数学的年代。

我不怕孤单,
但我不会去喜欢这种感觉。
有时我的轻描带过自己的孤独感时,
那是因为我已经习惯了。
不曾去算过,
自己的一生中有多少人问过我,
“怎么每天看你自己一个人的,不孤单么?”
很矛盾的话,
我怎么会不孤单啊?
自己一个人就已经是孤单的啦。
只是,我真的不怕。

对我而言,每次带着耳机时,
是歌曲带给了我无限的安全感。
自己走在路上时,
是自己的谨慎让我觉得我行。
我会默默地在心里告诉自己要坚持,
这是正常的。
多少人就是这样一路走过来,
这算不了什么。

以前在学校,
我习惯独来独往,
因为曾经有过形影不离的人,
所以我懂那滋味其实很棒。
但我知道自己没必要绑着好朋友在身边。
每个人都有自己的生活要过。
与其习惯性地依赖他们,
倒不如自己提早学会了孤单,
习惯了这滋味。

5G和一些中学的好朋友,
我很想和你们说抱歉。
来到Taylors的我已经是进入另一个程度的生活。
我抽不出太多的时间陪你们,
也期望你们能理解我。
我不过是在追逐自己的梦。
对,是自私,但这是现实。
我忙着照顾好自己,
忙着过完这一年,无法用心对待你们。
有时,
我会讨厌这样的自己,
一点都不像努力当真诚的人的我。

心里难免有愧疚,
可我依旧选择了忘记与忽略。
这是理性的选择,我懂,你懂,大家都懂。
很多人总觉得理性、实际者不感性,
没人情味。
可他们内心中的真实想法又有谁懂?
心里的话有必要透露么?
各人有异。
暂时忘记脑里的回忆,
把你们收在心底,
这是我唯一能做的。

在情绪、生活上,
我庆幸一切的困扰都能自行解决。
我有自己的方法走下去,
所以我有的只是恐惧,
怕自己不成功。
可一旦有了这开头,
我也就坚持到底,
毕竟路是自己选的,注定了我得强化自己。
受苦,是必须。
理性的,把它当成乐趣。
这就是生活与生存的原则。

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

18/1 Rain of the evening.

It rained yesterday evening.

I walked on the street, holding tight on my umbrella.
Poor thing it is, just a small and light item, but it had to defend me from the heavy droplets.

Nobody except me was walking on the street.
The surrounding was so quiet and all I could hear was the rain dripping, spilling on the ground.

My shoes were all wet...
My pants were all wet...
Luckily, my phones were not wet!
Haha...
My hair got wet, but not worse till water dripping from it.
It's in a mess.

I went for bath as soon as I reached my room.
It's good that no one was using the bathroom at that time.

I bathed as quick as I could to prevent myself from getting sick.
Living alone out here is no good when you are sick.
It's best if I manage to keep myself healthy throughout this whole year.

I couldn't imagine my life if I sick at here.
Nobody will know what's going on to me.
Never ever let the virus or bacteria get to me!
May god bless me... Haha...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

我外住的心态

有时,
我也不晓得自己究竟在坚持什么。

人群中,朋友中,
我属较独立的一个。

别说我不想家,
我也会挂念家人的,
只是我学会了遗忘。

暂时不去记得他们,
暂时忘了他们的好,
自己过自己的生活。
现在的衣食住行都得靠自己,
没人来帮忙或照顾。

除了变得更坚强,
我还能做什么?

我爸让我出来住就是要锻炼我。
他知道我这家伙的翅膀还未开完,
他知道我还要飞得更远,
而他更知道,他唯一能做的其实就只有帮我、放我,
并且为我铺好启程的路。

我很感激家里的人个个都支持我出来住,
甚至为我在这里的一切生活需求尽量准备好。
他们的关怀其实也是我现今的精神支柱。

我想过哭,
可我没哭。
我想过自己会很痛,
可我只是短暂的痛过罢了。
因为我比任何人都清楚,
有天,
我还是回到家人的身边。

短暂的离别,
只是为了让自己变得更独立,
让自己变得更能称得这姚姓。
我是姓姚的,永不变。

Friday, January 15, 2010

Introduction of T1

Guys,
as you all know I had my orientation this morning,
and it ended at 1.50pm.
The orientation had a lot of speech by counsellors and teachers.
It's super boring.

As the time came to 11am,
we were glad to have an hour break.
In fact, it should be said as two hours break,
since the distribution of student ID took up an hour of time,
which didn't need such long period.

After that,
I went to my classroom and separated with Yu-Hua-SAM gang.
My class is T1,
it is a class which has subjects of
Eng as Sec Language, Accounting, Economics, Maths and IT.
At first,
I thought there wouldn't be much girls in my class.
For all Yu Hua students,
even we are ex now,
we did know that IT is not favoured by much females.
But glad to know that this didn't happen to my class.
There are 15boys and 15girls in my class.
It's so great.
Before that,
Wen Yi had joked with me that there maybe 29boys but 1 girl only...
It did freak me out, just a bit of course.

At this first day,
I only met boys...
I meant it when I said so.
Those girls thought I am a boy,
none of them sat close to me. ==''
Haiz~ What can I said about this?
I met 大陈and小陈.
It's funny for me to call them so.
When the elder one is 小陈 in fact.
大陈is a person who dares to know new friends.
I were glad that he broke the ice between the few of us.
I won't mind knowing them as soon as possible,
it's just I'm too shy to say I am actually a girl.
Sux me up...
I met Chin Yi and his friend,
who I did't know his name for temporary.

Our mentor who in-charged the class is Ms Sukhminder Kaur.
I wondered she is an Indian or from other races.
She is our IT teacher as well.

Soon after she entered the class,
our seniors who were taking IT at the year before,
came in and selling their books.
They are quite cheerful.

Somehow, I felt that I really look like a kid.
Don't even know why when my wearing is just same as the others.
Must be my face.
And the matter that I never dress girly.
And I am damn short compare to the others in my class!
Haiz.

Anyway, after the briefing of subject by the Ms Sukhminder,
we called it a day soon.
Tomorrow we will be in another classroom,
the constant one for the sem1.
C22~
I really always related to this number.
22~ birthday number! Haha

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

里程碑要开始打地基了

明天就是Orientation,
华文应该是迎新会吧?
该面对的终于来了。
全新的区域在那刻开始。

朋友要再交过。
他们究竟是怎么样的,
我有点好奇。
我期望他们当中有人能尽快和我成为死党,
而以我一贯的风格这事应该不难,
只期盼我的英文要流畅点。

很少和陌生的人说英文。
我知道我会紧张,
但我外表的镇定足以应付这一切。
毕竟我是如此的性格。
是自然的天性,
是从小培养出来的逆境重生。

我就是社交好~
我就是有说话的天份~
不信明天闯不出自己的天地。

未来的日子再苦,
其实也会是带着甘味的,
只希望阿姚立鑫这混蛋别再那么的懒散……
自我向上,发奋图强,
You can do it!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Man, it's bored!!!!

Early morning around 9am,
I had my breakfast with Yuin at Asia Cafe.
We each had a bowl of Wantan Mee,
but it's not that good in taste.
Kinda anti that place now.

After that we had a walk around the outer area of our campus.
Then we back to Yuin's apartment room.
It's a comfy and small place.

We chat and played cubes (I like it!).
Forgive us, we were just too bored at that moment,
so the activities continued until our lunch time.

This time, we chose a spot where many of you know.
Right! It's McD.
Two lunch sets of MacChicken.

Oh boy oh boy, we just chat chat chat.
At 1o'clock something,
we reached my rental room.

Yuin said this place feels like home and there is a lot of space.
I know I know,
as I made this room like the one in my house.
Wanna feel like I'm still with my family.

I took a nap as she surfed the net.
As for now, she is taking her turn to nap while I am surfing the net.
Hehe~
That's all for the day!
Darn bored day...
Waiting for Wei Herng and Win Kee to join us for dinner at PappaRich.
Oh right!
Before I forgot,
there is a good news to me is
Yi Qin is coming to Taylor's too!
And we are in same course, so maybe we can go Australia together as well!
^^v

Saturday, January 9, 2010

住前

今晚在云顶的家睡一晚,
明晚开始我却已在subang住了。

我不能说自己没不舍得。
长久以来都伴随在父母身边的我其实也挺依赖家人的。

我的三餐有人准备好。
睡不醒有人叫我醒。
出门有人接送。
衣服有人洗。
房间、厕所基本的卫生都有人负责。

当一切开始要自己全权负责时,
我是会有点慌。
但,
我不是说过了么?
我要独立,不然那“立”字为何而取代“丽”的。

我想,明晚我应该不会哭,
尽管我是很喜欢家人给我的安全感。
我是如此的依赖着那份感觉,
但如果我要做我想做的事,
那这一步我必须踏出。
这,我是比任何人都清楚的。

我不舍得的还有这个镇。
昨天看着那些中学生穿着校服在镇上走来走去逛街,
或者赶补习前讨个温饱,
突然发现那就是过去的自己,
他们就像我的影子。
只是我已回不去那个年代了。

曾经很多人都告诉过我,
中学年代其实是最美好的,
因为我们有着青春、有着活力,
能冲能闯。
错了,也没人能过分地指责我们,
因为我们还年轻,
因为我们还不懂事。

琪提醒了我,
我快18了。
在法律上而言,(如果没记错是Akta Kanak-kanak 198x)
我已不再是儿童。
该是时候为自己、为更多的人或事负起责任。
我的行为不再能出乱,
控制、自制不可缺。
自身的安全与社会危险醒觉这刻该有了。

想着想着,
我的恐惧感来了,
那份不安是如此的讨人厌。
但,我不是应该比任何人都习惯它么?
一直在外走来走去,
独自潇洒行的人应该最为易适应,
所以我怕什么啊?
是啊,究竟在怕什么?
我也不懂了。
或许我至今未习惯和一些不认识的人混在一处,
或许我需要的只是时间去适应。

其实,我还是挺勇敢的,
不然我不会踢自己出去住。
我想,我是疯了。

Thursday, January 7, 2010

我是怪

发现自己越来越好用脑的东西。
真是个怪咖……
买了个5x5,结果前天买,前天就会玩完了……
==''
我想,我现在算是浪费钱么?
外加,我又买了幅拼图。
迟些我看连我租的房也被我拿来挂拼图了……

我想我和别人最大的不同,
就是我不爱玩电脑游戏、
上网:只阅读、更新部落格和查资料、
玩乐之余更关注安全、
想法则有点古怪吧……

我秉持的观念总和别人有些出入,
但别人总能接受与明白我的观点。
我是如此的爱把脑袋往人际、事情的变化之由转。

晓之以情,处之以理。
人生一大观点啊。

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

屏,你霸了多少个人的blog post title啊?

今天,是我认识了最久的朋友的生日。

今天,她十八了。
(欢呼!再加掌声!!!放烟花+鞭炮!噼里啪啦~)

长大了咯,法定的成年人了哦~
(无声落泪)

我的好朋友,你老了啊……
〈被K,下个生日的人就是你了,还说别人。


话说,今天我在睡着觉的时候,突然收到云的简讯。
屏的派对提前啊!
天啊,谢谢你~好在我昨天出去买了礼物,不然今天我去哪买啊?!
话说,你们肯定不懂我这些天的起床时间。
那已是下午两点多了~嘿嘿~
放假彻底变夜猫一族。

一顿晚餐在Beach Cafe。
看我们的大姐和她的十一个好朋友一起聊天玩乐。

老实说,屏,今年狮子座和你犯冲哦?!
两个狮子座的倒霉倒到我们在座的各位很无言叻。
不过,这又是一个暴笑的夜晚,我过得开心。

朋友,谢谢你们。
在我开学前,依然能见到你们,我蛮欢喜。

生日快乐哦,屏!
记住,你是很棒很棒的人~