那一份情，难舍难了……

是否能有个人来取代，来当我生命中新的柱子呢？
It would have been better, for me.
但，我还是舍不得。
I am too kind to be cruel, to say goodbye or to leave for real...
我总是在转身后的下一秒便掉头。
Just one word and it would have bring me back easily.
我的坚强渐渐瓦解。
But I build it higher right after it has fallen.

I shall wear my armor tighter,
be a knight that could never let others see my sorrow.

A knight shall always be strong,
A knight shall always keeps his faith on what he believes,
A knight shall always prepares to sacrifice everything for what he swears to protect,
and A knight shall never let go of his sword and his shield for they are what he really and only owns.

I am never a prince,
for I always so near to you.
I never been a good leader,
for I need to prepare for everything that may endanger you.
I am a good person,
but I could be bad to fight for you.
I would only be a knight,
not a prince who cares for his country and unable to fight for you.
Most importantly,
I am a knight who put you forward of everything else.

啊！！

总觉得自己最近的眼神中充满着忧郁。我并不想这样的。我从来都不擅长掩饰我的难过，我只会不说出来。因为我懂，我该怎样处理这些情绪，只是我选择的往往不是我最该用的方式。我偏感性了。

自私的我与愿意付出的我常常在打仗，但我的心总会偏向那个甘愿付出的一方，别问我为什么还要继续这样让自己难过下去，我只知道我不想后悔。我这辈子都不愿意在那次之后再次面对后悔带来的沉重罪恶感，那是一生不可磨灭的。好在我的好朋友没让这事变成了我的遗憾，友谊万岁啊！哈哈哈~

好，回来。我其实不喜欢太难过的自己，因为我赌上的是健康。而最重要的是我还不能死，我还有责任在身。我希望自己能更坚强，再坚强点，再大的打击都能不吭声地啃下就好，自己能够随着时间消化掉。

为我祈祷吧，愿我能早日大彻大悟如何勇敢并坚强的面对毕生最痛的事吧！心痛真的让我很苦，很苦啊。